HippoThoughts

The only news source written entirely by Hippos


Special Place in Hell Reaches Capacity

HELL—It was announced on September 25th that the special place in Hell has reached complete capacity. Hell made the announcement via Twitter this morning to unanimous outrage. Thousands of angry, violent, and profanity filled tweets were received. Twitter users all feel they know someone who belongs in the special place in Hell. Ironically, the content of the users’ tweets just may guarantee them a spot in Hell. Just not in the special place, as it is full.

After observing the outrage this news brought upon the general public, we had to see for ourselves what made this special place so damn special. So we decided to send a Hippo Thoughts correspondent down to Hell via a bus service. However, the correspondent thought that they were already in Hell several times throughout the bus ride.

hippo-bus-wpHippo Thoughts correspondent arriving at the Hell bus stop.

When the HT correspondent got to the special place, they found it is nothing more than a dentist waiting room with “Teenage Dream”, by Katy Perry, playing on a loop. As you probably guessed, our correspondent did not stay long.

Furthermore, we confirm that the special place in Hell is at capacity with absolutely no room for new residents. A rep for Hell has sent out a statement urging people to please stop promising their friends, family, and enemies a spot in the special place in hell. The rep went on to say that at this time there is no special place in hell for people like them. As they are full.


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