HippoThoughts

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Source Close to the Celebrity Actually Just Stalker

LOS ANGELES, CA—Every magazine says the same thing. “A source close to the celebrity says this.” Or even worse, “a source close to the celebrity says that.” But just how close are these “sources close to the celebrity”? Well, we did some digging and boy did we find out.

Here’s a statement from one “Source close to the celebrity”:

“Justin was out with friends having a good time Friday night. He was laughing and smiling. He doesn’t care about Sophia Richie anymore. He’s just happy to be single again”

What a statement. So much inside scoop, we can hardly contain our ears from wiggling. Or is it so much inside scoop that makes us hardly contain our ears from wiggling? To clarify, we sat down with a source close to the source close to the celebrity and they had this to say:

“I was there that night. The night Justin was out laughing and smiling with his friends. I saw Brenda (source that claims to be close to celebrity) in the bushes near his table. I’m honestly surprised Justin didn’t see her. She was physically the closest person to him at the time, but trust me, from where I was sitting, Justin had no idea she was even there”

In other words, looks like we have a stalker on our hands. However, we still need one question answered; how close is the source close to the source close to the celebrity? In order to figure that out, we talked to a source close to the source close to the source close to the celebrity and this is what they said:

“Who Janet? Yeah she’s nuts. She wasn’t at the table next to Bieber, she was in the bush behind Brenda. And me? I was in the bush behind Janet in the bush behind Brenda. I’m a stalker, too”

Wow. My ears. They wiggle.

The original source close to the celebrity has not responded to Hippo Thoughts’ request for comment.


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