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Rest Of Group Abandons Friend Who Stopped To Tie Shoe

AUSTIN, TX—After innocently stopping to tie his shoe in downtown Austin, Phil Loomis, 25, noticed the group of friends he was walking with had just completely left him there. He reports one minute they were there, the next they were gone. “One minute they were there, the next they were gone,” said Loomis. Sources say the group of friends were walking to a downtown BBQ joint when the incident took place. One friend of Loomis’ gave the following statement:

“Phil has to stop to tie his shoes all the time. We can’t be expected to wait for him if he refuses to learn a new shoe-tieing method other than bunny ears.”

Phil responded with the following:

“The bunny ears work for me. It reminds me of a bunny I once had.”

With the help of his life coach Gregg, Phil has forgiven his friends and maintains that no hard feelings will prevail. For now.



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