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No One Listening To Frustrated Prairie Dog’s Predictions

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA— Punxsutawney Patty, a frustrated and overlooked prairie dog who resides in the town of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, has reached her boiling point. Punxsutawney Patty is an established Meteorologist that makes predictions every year on Groundhogs Day to the townspeople. However, every year when Groundhogs Day rolls around, the townspeople only listen to a groundhog named Punxsutawney Phil. No matter if Phil is right or wrong, they still blindly trust his prediction each year. This infuriates Patty as she knows Phil has no training and is just a big fraud.

It all started in grad school where Phil and Patty met. They were in the same meteorology class and became best friends. They both worked very hard until the 2nd semester when Phil got involved with drugs and alcohol. Patty reported that he became lazy and didn’t care about the work anymore. He relied on his moderate popularity to get ahead. Unfortunately for Patty, that is exactly what Phil accomplished.

The townspeople began to gravitate to Phil and celebrate him each year. He convinced them that if he sees his shadow there will be six more weeks of winter, and vise versa. So while Patty worked tirelessly, graduated with honors, and knows how to accurately predict weather patterns, Phil ended up dropping out and continued using drugs and alcohol. This didn’t matter though, as all the townspeople care about is if Phil sees his shadow.

Still every year Patty holds an event to present her predictions that she determines with hard facts and months of research. However, no one ever shows up. Just her friend Jim. And no one cares about Jim either. Patty and Phil’s friendship never recovered and to this day they hardly ever speak.


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