HippoThoughts

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Millions of Living Breathing Americans Making Trump Think Healthcare One Big Hoax

WASHINGTON, DC—It’s been reported that Trump no longer thinks healthcare is necessary after being presented with evidence that millions of Americans are alive and well. During a briefing Monday morning, Trump’s top advisors showed him the numbers. Millions upon millions of Americans are living and going about their day all across the country.

This is when Trump began to think this whole healthcare thing was actually a big hoax. “Americans don’t need healthcare. Come on, there are over 300 million of them who are alive and well. Something about this seems off,” thought Trump during his briefing. Trump was then instructed to put his hand over his heart for more evidence healthcare is a hoax. Once he felt his normal heartbeat his skepticism grew stronger.

HippoThoughts gained an exclusive statement from Donald Trump Jr. below:

“My dad is no fool. He can tell when he’s being played from a mile away. Did they think he wouldn’t notice all these breathing people in the country? Just look at all these anti-Trump protesters. They’re all breathing! They even have the strength to hold signs! Give me a break.”

Sean Spicer was bombarded with questions and concerns about Trump’s new revelation at a press briefing Monday afternoon. Here’s an exclusive snippet of Spicer’s response:

“Look at you! You’re breathing! And you’re breathing, too! And this guy is definitely breathing! I can see all of you breathing! I have eyes ya’ know!”

Spicer then proceeded to rip out his own heart to demonstrate that it is pumping oxygen just fine; further proving his point that Healthcare is not necessary at this time in our country. Of course, he passed out moments later. It seems there will be a lot of time and energy going into debating this issue.


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