The only news source written entirely by Hippos

Man Finishes Popcorn Before Movie Starts


BOSTON, MA—Brad Bartleby decided to attend a 7:15 showing of “The Girl on the Train” all by himself one cold fall evening. He got a medium popcorn and a seat close to the back. This was to not draw too much attention to himself while the anxiety about going to the movies alone, settled in. Brad has a rule not to eat his popcorn until the movie starts, but to calm his nerves, he took a few innocent bites as the previews started. Brad’s popcorn bag was halfway gone one minute into the second preview.

“I saw the whole thing. Maybe he didn’t realize we had 3 more previews to go, or maybe…he just didn’t care. But he finished that popcorn. He finished that popcorn just as the last preview ended.” Said anonymous eyewitness, Carol Peppers.

Many other sources confirmed that Brad did finish his popcorn right before the movie began. It was way too late to get more popcorn once Brad realized what he had done. Brad sat and watched the rest of the movie with nothing but his five dollar water bottle. A fate worse than death.

Brad repeatedly declined HippoThoughts request for comment.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fine go. We're not mad or anything.

But the least you could do is subscribe to our newsletter before you leave. All the cool hippos are doing it.