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Local Home’s Junk Drawer Getting Way Too Organized


STOWE, VT—Homeowners of a local home in Stowe, Vermont reported that their junk drawer was getting way too organized for their liking. They went on to say that it was so organized they are going to start putting some items in there that they didn’t consider “junk”. They are not happy about this. When asked why they think the junk drawer started getting organized, they said, “If we knew that, would we be here talking to you?!” We didn’t quite understand what that meant but we’re working on figuring it out.

Anyway, we decided to take a little trip to the local home, owned by the homeowners, to see the way too organized junk drawer for ourselves. The homeowners graciously showed us before pictures of the junk drawer so we could understand the difference. Apparently they took weekly shots of the junk drawer in case something like this ever happened. The before pictures of the junk drawer were everything you would hope a junk drawer would be. For example, one picture had two pill bottles that were past their expiration date as well as one box of expired dog-themed Band-aids. (We didn’t even know Band-aids expired.) Another showed a deck of cards you could just tell was missing the 5 of spades. There was also a lonely sock. Also detected, a rusty can opener. Safe to assume it hasn’t been used in years. Needless to say, all items were in disarray.

Below is a sample of one of the images:


When the junk drawer was opened in it’s current state, it was shocking. Nothing but a hollow shell of what it used to be. It had finely sharpened #2 pencils perfectly stacked to one side. It had a full package of batteries ready to go. There was a notepad in the middle just waiting to be written on, probably by the pencils. And the sock – gone. Seriously, let it go. As soon as we saw the drawer, we offered our condolences and got the hell out of there.

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