HippoThoughts

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Grandmas Demand Love on Facebook

MENLO PARK, CA—Facebook just released its yearly Grandma statistics and the results are staggering.

More and more of the older generation has adopted regular Facebook usage. The world is no stranger to this sort of generation adoption, but the problem does not lie there. The problem lies within Grandma’s being completely unwilling to let go of their self-absorption and constant need for recognition on peoples posts. It is much larger than any of us.  

As you scroll through Facebook you can see Grandmas demanding to be loved everywhere. Often times they don’t even throw you a like. You just got married? Grandma says, “Congrats. Love Grandma.” Your uncle just died? Grandma says,”Sorry to hear that. Love Grandma.” A NEW PUPPY! Grandma doesn’t care. Love Grandma over everything.

We fearlessly sat down with Grandma to get a statement: “I love taking my meds as my doctor advises – with a meal twice a day. Love Grandma.” The selfishness in this statement is eye opening.

We can expect Facebook to roll out a new platform anticipating the rise of needy Grandmas. Until then, Facebook advises you simply respond “new phone who dis.”


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