Giselle Cuts Up Tom Brady’s Hot Dog Before Big Game
BROOKLINE, MA—The New England Patriots have a big game this weekend against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Tom Brady is doing everything he can (that NFL rules and regulations allow) to prepare for the AFC Championship game. Reports indicate that Giselle has begun to cut Tom’s hot dogs into bite sized pieces and serve them on a plate shaped like a puppy. Aww. Reports also say Brady eats his cut up hot dogs wearing a bib that says “Big Tommy” on it. Which was a gift from Bill Belichick. How adorable. Furthermore, Giselle reportedly feeds Brady herself by pretending the fork is some kind of airplane or helicopter. She also blows on each piece as to make sure it is not too hot for Brady.
A source close to the couple has gone on record to provide some insight:
“Tom needs to be able to get protein before big games. But he only wants it in the form of hot dogs. Giselle’s methods relax Tom so he can eat his hot dogs without incident. Since he’s the greatest quarterback of all time**, Giselle cuts up and feeds him the hot dogs as to not potentially hurt his million dollar arm.”
While protecting his arm is a semi-plausible explanation for this pre-game ritual, many speculate that Giselle does this simply because Brady likes it. Which sounds way more plausible. Given Brady’s behavior on and off the field, he seems like the kind of guy who wants his hot dogs cut up.
All in all, Sunday’s game will be a great one for everyone involved. Except the team that loses.