The only news source written entirely by Hippos

Elderly Woman At Movies Asks If Seat You’re Sitting In Is Taken


PLEASANTVILLE, NY— Ruth Stromwell, 77, made headlines this weekend after she asked patrons of a local movie theatre if the seats they were sitting, were taken. Ruth was in fact asked to leave the theater. When we reached out to her for comment she had this to say:

“I love their popcorn. I lightly salt it and it’s always a delight!”

Cleary Ruth didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. Witnesses confirm she walked up and down the aisles for several minutes basically trying to force people out of their seats. It’s appalling. This local movie theatre has a zero tolerance policy against confused old women. We reached out to them for comment and they said this:

“We have a zero tolerance policy against confused old women.”

Interesting. We caught up with one of the movie theatre victims to get their side of the story.

HippoThoughts: I’m very sorry you had to go through this. Are you okay?

Victim: Um, yeah I’m fine. Soooo are you actually a hippo?

HT: You must be worried she’ll strike again. Perhaps in a restaurant, or a cafe. What if she asks if you’re using the mug you’re drinking out of?!?!

Victim: Um, I’m not that worried about it. I’ll just have to tell her I am using the mug. Really, she’s harmless.

HT: I can practically smell your fear!

Victim: Maybe that’s because you’re a hippo…

Wow. What a compelling interview. The fear that Ruth has brought into these people’s lives. They will have to look over their shoulders for as long as they live!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fine go. We're not mad or anything.

But the least you could do is subscribe to our newsletter before you leave. All the cool hippos are doing it.