The only news source written entirely by Hippos

Dad Proudly Teaches Son How To Efficiently Pour Ketchup From Glass Bottle

MILWAUKEE, WI—A Milwaukee man had his proudest moment as a father this past weekend while at a restaurant called Joe’s Meat and Spaghetti. Tim Holbrook, 47, and his family were seen dining at the restaurant on Saturday night. Reports indicate that Holbrook’s son, Timmy Holbrook, 17, was struggling with the ketchup bottle, most likely for his Burger. One witness claims Holbrook Jr. was hitting the side of the bottle with a knife to no avail. This is when Holbrook Sr. stepped in with his vast knowledge on the subject. He reportedly grabbed the bottle, shook his finger as if to say “No no no, that’s not the way!”, and proceeded to show him how it’s done.

Take note of the extremely informative quote HippoThoughts gained from a witness at the scene:

“I saw the whole thing. The kid with the ketchup bottle slightly resembled the older man trying to help him. I suspect it was his son. The rest of my party agreed. It was definitely his son.”

More importantly, Holbrook Sr. gave the following quote telling his side of the story:

“Look, I love my son okay? But he’s not the brightest bulb in the box, if you know what I mean. Not the sharpest tool in the shed if you catch my drift. In other words, the boy couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. So I was very proud when I got the chance to teach him the right way to pour ketchup. You see, the trick is you have to bang the bottom. Not many people know that”

Nevertheless, Holbrook Sr. was successful in teaching his son, Holbrook Jr., how to efficiently pour ketchup from a glass bottle. Many people around town have seen Holbrook Jr. by himself using his father’s method without incident.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fine go. We're not mad or anything.

But the least you could do is subscribe to our newsletter before you leave. All the cool hippos are doing it.