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Charlotte Man Acknowledges Stranger Gets Nothing In Return


CHARLOTTE, NC—Joel Marzbarz, 26, was walking along Central Avenue in Plaza Midwood thinking about candy corn, or whatever people from Charlotte think about. Staring straight down as usual, he came to a cross walk. He looked up from his new Android and made brief eye contact with a stranger walking towards him. Joel takes pleasure in the simple things, like accidentally making eye contact. Therefore, he responded to their brief encounter with a classic Joel “Good morning!” But the stranger just. kept. walking.

What was wrong with Joel? Why was Joel subjected to such an attack? How will Joel ever trust again? When will Joel ever gain the strength to keep going in life? Joel was forced to ask himself these questions every damn day. As you may have guessed, Joel’s life took a steep decline. He lost his job, he lost his friends, and he lost his dog. Sure, he lost all those things through unrelated circumstances, but is that really the point?

We sent our best Hippo Thoughts correspondent to sit down with Joel and get a statement. This is what he got:

“I haven’t slept or eaten in weeks. It’s just too hard to get past this. I keep sleeping till the late afternoon and over-eating. It’s horrible.”

Interestingly enough, when Joel said goodbye to our correspondent, he yet again endured no response. You see, our correspondents have small, wiggly ears, prone to insufficient hearing. Even so, that was the last straw for Joel. He then chased our correspondent through the streets of Charlotte for hours. Hang in there, Joel!

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