HippoThoughts

The only news source written entirely by Hippos


Woman Buys Third Bra For Some Reason

Woman Buys Third Bra For Some Reason

ST. CLOUD, MN — Pondering over the bra section in a local Gap Body, St. Cloud resident Marlee Olson was getting ready to buy a third bra, for some reason. It’s been reported that Olson already has two bras at home that work perfectly fine. Which means after Olson buys this bra, for some reason,…

One Horse Town Welcomes Second Horse

One Horse Town Welcomes Second Horse

BUFORD, WY—Exciting news has hit the small town of Buford Wyoming this week. For years it was a one horse town. However, that all changed when Ronald, a second horse, showed up. While some call Buford Wyoming the smallest town in the US, others call it the smallest town in the USA. This is in…

New Yorker Walks By Dying Cockroach, Does Nothing

NEW YORK, NY—About to reach his destination at a popular brunch restaurant that only serves dinner, Chester Nickelfront saw a dying cockroach on the street. Instead of screaming for help or performing CPR, Nickelfront just kept walking. HippoThoughts caught up with Nickelfront who gave the following statement: “I was already 20 minutes late meeting my…

Sweet Old Woman Waits For Walk Sign Even Though No Cars Coming

CHICAGO, IL—Waiting at the cross-walk for what can only be described as 26 seconds, Glenda Sanders, 71, taught us all a lesson in the art of being foolish. Glenda was walking home from Geriatric Pool Night at the local community center this past weekend when she came to a cross-walk. “I came to the cross-walk…

Chicken Crosses The Enemies Off List Instead

CARTER, MONTANA— A local Chicken from the small town of Carter, Montana was finally able to cross the enemies off his list on Wednesday, April 13th. Chester the Chicken, 1, was sick and tired of crossing the road. So he decided to cross something else instead. One by one Chester added enemies to his list…

Stubborn Parking Lot Snow Pile Refuses To Melt

SEYMOUR, CT—Causing quite the stir in the local Stop & Shop parking lot, one last snow pile has reportedly been seen refusing to melt. Some find the “dirty snow” to be nothing but an eye sore minding it’s own business. However, one shopper believes the snow pile’s behavior to be personally victimizing. HippoThoughts met up with bi-weekly Tuesday shopper, Betty Topper,…

During 23rd Viewing Of Titanic Local Woman Still Hopes Ship Won’t Hit Iceberg

WESTCHESTER, NY — It was her 23rd viewing of the classic film Titanic, when local woman Joanne Pipers was still hoping the ship wouldn’t hit that pesky iceberg. Joanne became a die hard Titanic fan after she discovered the movie during a James Cameron marathon on TNT last month. After watching it she went out…

Man Doesn’t Know If Bathroom Is Occupied Or He Just Can’t Open Door

  LAKE CITY, FL—Looking like an absolute idiot at a public restroom in a local Panera Bread, James Anderson, 37, couldn’t figure out if someone was actually in there, or he just couldn’t open the damn door. James reported that he stood at that door for a total of 6 minutes before thinking there may not be…

Local Home’s Junk Drawer Getting Way Too Organized

STOWE, VT—Homeowners of a local home in Stowe, Vermont reported that their junk drawer was getting way too organized for their liking. They went on to say that it was so organized they are going to start putting some items in there that they didn’t consider “junk”. They are not happy about this. When asked why they think the junk…

Elderly Woman At Movies Asks If Seat You’re Sitting In Is Taken

PLEASANTVILLE, NY— Ruth Stromwell, 77, made headlines this weekend after she asked patrons of a local movie theatre if the seats they were sitting, were taken. Ruth was in fact asked to leave the theater. When we reached out to her for comment she had this to say: “I love their popcorn. I lightly salt it…

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