HippoThoughts

The only news source written entirely by Hippos


Song Stuck In Head Not Happy To Be There Either

Song Stuck In Head Not Happy To Be There Either

TAMPA, FL—After being played at a local Tampa restaurant, Third Eye Blind’s Jumper ended up getting stuck in a Tampa local’s head and the tune was not happy about it. It didn’t even want to be played at that restaurant, which featured a 4th eye being blind. Unfortunately for everyone, the restaurant manager is a…

Jennifer Aniston Not Answering Cast of Friends’ Group Texts

Jennifer Aniston Not Answering Cast of Friends’ Group Texts

LOS ANGELES, CA—It has been reported that the cast of “F.R.I.E.N.D.S” has a group text that Jennifer Aniston doesn’t answer much. Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry, Courtney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, and David Schwimmer have had this group text with Aniston for over 10 years now. The cast reportedly formed the group text to “stay in touch” after the…

Source Close to the Celebrity Actually Just Stalker

LOS ANGELES, CA—Every magazine says the same thing. “A source close to the celebrity says this.” Or even worse, “a source close to the celebrity says that.” But just how close are these “sources close to the celebrity”? Well, we did some digging and boy did we find out. Here’s a statement from one “Source close…

Angelina Jolie No Longer Farting in Front of Brad Pitt

LOS ANGELES, CA—News broke on September 20th that Angelina Jolie has decided to no longer fart in front of Brad Pitt. After farting in front of him for 12 years, she gave us the scoop: Angelina would rather fart in front of someone else, or better yet, only fart in front of herself. You heard it…

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