HippoThoughts

The only news source written entirely by Hippos


One Horse Town Welcomes Second Horse

One Horse Town Welcomes Second Horse

BUFORD, WY—Exciting news has hit the small town of Buford Wyoming this week. For years it was a one horse town. However, that all changed when Ronald, a second horse, showed up. While some call Buford Wyoming the smallest town in the US, others call it the smallest town in the USA. This is in…

UPDATE: Buzzfeed Quiz Making Man Question Career Now

UPDATE: Buzzfeed Quiz Making Man Question Career Now

AMARILLO, TX—It has recently come to the attention of HippoThoughts that there have been several updates in the home of Tommy Gilders. Last we heard from Tommy he had left his wife, Tammy, and created a Match.com profile. The last Buzzfeed quiz Tommy took told him he would marry a total of 10 times. In…

Breaking: Mouse In Wall Now Calling The Shots

PHILADELPHIA, PA—It’s been reported that as of one hour ago a mouse has taken Philadelphia locals, Abi and Grant, hostage in their center city apartment. The mouse’s presence was first discovered in their bedroom, scurrying throughout the walls. HippoThoughts has not been able to make contact with Abi and Grant at this time as they are barricaded…

BREAKING: No More Napkins In Glove Compartment

HARRISBURG, PA—Breaking news in Harrisburg this morning when a local woman was on her way to work. Debbie Brown, 37, was driving in her Subaru on Monday morning when she spilled “just a little” of her coffee. Debbie did the only reasonable thing and reached for her glove compartment for the napkins that have gathered there…

Breaking news: Grandma Scent Now Bottled and Sold at Sephora

BREAKING—It was just announced that Sephora has finally decided to bottle, and sell “Grandma” scent at their stores. Grandmas everywhere are ecstatic and relieved they no longer have to go to great lengths to all smell the same. It has been long understood that everyone’s Grandmother must smell the same, and this is something our…

Special Place in Hell Reaches Capacity

HELL—It was announced on September 25th that the special place in Hell has reached complete capacity. Hell made the announcement via Twitter this morning to unanimous outrage. Thousands of angry, violent, and profanity filled tweets were received. Twitter users all feel they know someone who belongs in the special place in Hell. Ironically, the content of…

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