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BREAKING: No More Napkins In Glove Compartment

HARRISBURG, PA—Breaking news in Harrisburg this morning when a local woman was on her way to work. Debbie Brown, 37, was driving in her Subaru on Monday morning when she spilled “just a little” of her coffee. Debbie did the only reasonable thing and reached for her glove compartment for the napkins that have gathered there over the years. However, when she opened the glove compartment…no napkins. Debbie then pulled over as she was no longer in the right mind-set to be driving a motor vehicle. After several minutes of tears had passed, she remembered that her son Jeremy selfishly used the last of the napkins to spit out his gum. She recalled him using 5 napkins when he only needed one.

“You wasteful bastard!” she thought. Brown called out of work for the rest of the week and got a cab home. She needed time to regroup and reflect on the situation. Most importantly though, she needed to figure out how to effectively punish Jeremy for what he had done.

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