HippoThoughts

The only news source written entirely by Hippos


Breaking: Mouse In Wall Now Calling The Shots

PHILADELPHIA, PA—It’s been reported that as of one hour ago a mouse has taken Philadelphia locals, Abi and Grant, hostage in their center city apartment. The mouse’s presence was first discovered in their bedroom, scurrying throughout the walls. HippoThoughts has not been able to make contact with Abi and Grant at this time as they are barricaded in their apartment, too afraid to move. However, our sources do tell us that, no, they are not a couple. Just two platonic friends who live in the same room, I guess.

Our HippoThoughts Investigators have gained visual confirmation that the roommates are barricaded in their apartment. Apparently, they are too afraid to move because every time they do, the mouse starts making all kinds of scurrying noises. They have determined the best way to make the mouse stop is to never make a move again. This mouse is truly calling the shots here. It’s now being reported that Grant has started to cry. Not because of the mouse, however. His mom just texted to tell him that his childhood dog, Leonard, has died. Oh, now it’s been reported he’s crying about both Leonard and the mouse, who they have also named Leonard.

Update:

We’re now on hour 4 of the hostage situation. The HippoThoughts Investigation team is getting very tired and reportedly wants to go home. No movement has come from inside the apartment for 37 minutes. It’s officially been reported that the HippoThoughts Investigation team has left the scene of the hostage situation to go get some smoothies down the street. Best of luck to Abi and Grant who are still at the mercy of Leonard, the scurrying mouse.


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